Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Letting People Walk All Over You—It Means Trusting God with the Mess
Forgiveness.
The word itself feels heavy, especially when you’re the one who’s been wronged.
And let’s be real. When life hits you with betrayal, heartbreak, or unfair treatment, the last thing you feel like doing is forgiving.
It feels like handing over the keys to your heart to someone who’s already used it as a doormat.
But here’s the truth: forgiveness is NOT about being okay with what was done to you.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you pretend that the wrong wasn’t wrong. It doesn’t mean you let someone back into your life to do the same thing over again. And it definitely doesn’t mean turning the other cheek, as many people mistakenly believe.
No, forgiveness is something deeper, harder—and ultimately, something far more powerful than just accepting hurt and moving on.
Forgiveness is about trusting God with what you cannot control.
Now, I know—this sounds like a cliché, right? Like one of those “just let it go” pieces of advice that people throw around when they don’t understand the gravity of what you’ve been through.
But hear me out.
When we’re hurt, it’s natural to want to take things into our own hands. We want revenge, payback, justice—some form of retribution to make things right.
And, let’s be honest, sometimes we want to see the people who’ve wronged us suffer, or at least acknowledge the pain they’ve caused.
But here’s the reality: you can’t always fix it, and you shouldn’t have to.
Forgiveness is about laying that burden down and trusting that God will handle what you can’t. It’s about recognizing that there’s a bigger picture at play, even when you can’t see it right now.
The Bible speaks to this in Romans 12:19: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
In other words, God has it covered. The wrongs done to you are seen. He knows the pain. He understands the injustice. And when we release that burden to Him, we are trusting that He will make things right—whether or not we ever get to see it in this lifetime.
That doesn’t mean you need to let people back into your life who have hurt you. Forgiveness does not mean reopening the door to toxic relationships or giving people a second (or third, or fourth) chance to cause the same damage.
In fact, sometimes the most loving thing you can do—both for yourself and for them—is to walk away.
Jesus didn’t say we should allow people to abuse us. He didn’t say we should continue to be mistreated or manipulated. In Matthew 18:15, Jesus gives us a clear process for confronting sin, but He also reminds us in the same breath that forgiveness is a choice we make, for our own healing, not as a free pass for others to hurt us again.
Forgiveness means that you choose to let go of the bitterness and anger that hold you captive.
It’s a daily decision to release the need for payback. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of being stuck in the cycle of revenge and hurt.
And while forgiveness doesn’t mean everything is made right in the moment, it does mean that God is working behind the scenes, taking the hurt you’ve been through and using it for something greater.
As it says in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
That’s the promise. Even when it feels like you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of injustice, even when it feels like the weight of what they did to you will never lift, God is working it out.
There are blessings on the other side of this, blessings you can’t even imagine right now.
Forgiveness isn’t easy. It’s often one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. But it’s also one of the most powerful.
When you trust God with your pain, when you let go of the need for revenge, you open yourself up to His blessings—blessings that will come in ways you never expected.
So, if you’re struggling to forgive, remember this: forgiveness isn’t about being okay with what was done to you.
It’s about trusting God to make things right, even when you can’t see how.
And when you choose to let Him take care of it, you’ll find a peace and strength that nothing in this world can offer.